This week’s Remember Me? comes courtesy of Coach Bombay and the District 5 Ducks. God bless their cotton socks, they overcame adversity not once, not twice, but thrice! And do you think they could have done it without the Cake Eater? I THINK NOT.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then get your life together and rent installments 1, 2, and 3 of the classic trilogy The Mighty Ducks. Obviously on par with all the great trilogies, including Star Wars and The Godfather, The Mighty Ducks taught us years before Obama that YES, WE GODDAMN CAN. Sure, Emilio Estevez may have been the star, and yes, Joshua Jackson may have been the team captain, but friends, it was Adam Banks who truly stole the show….so much so that I actually had to look up his real name, because the character of Adam Banks is so ingrained upon my memory (much like Stanley Kowalski and Michael Coreleon) that the man behind the character becomes almost insignificant.

That, my friends, is what we in the biz like to call “sarcasm.” The Mighty Ducks is a terrible movie (which is precisely why I own two copies and watch it every week) but Adam Banks holds a special place in my heart for a very specific reason; mainly because when I lived in LA he used to serve me shots of whiskey with Stella chasers.

Yes, the mighty Adam Banks, once the star player of the Hawks and later a….cooperative member of the Ducks, is now a bartender at Hollywood’s Beauty Bar. Do not get me wrong, bartending is a noble profession and not one to thumb one’s nose at. I have great respect for Adam Banks (which is precisely why I will continue to call him Adam Banks instead of by his real name) and I hope that since 3FING3RS is so very widely read by young and old alike that perhaps this little piece of publicity will get him some fat tips come Happy Hour. This edition of Remember Me? is extremely special because not only are we reminding you of a star from the days of yore, but we are also telling you that you can find him at 1638 Cahuenga Blvd in Los Angeles, California nearly every night. We here at 3FING3RS do not condone stalking, but I can tell you from experience that ordering a drink from a former child star and then quacking at him as he gives you your change is quite possibly one of the most satisfying experiences one can ever have.

About Last Night…

April 13, 2010

I feel like something bad is about to happen...

Alright, I’m just gonna jump right in on this one. Last night’s 24 had an ending that I 100% didn’t see coming. But, before we talk about the ending, let’s talk about what took us there. We opened the hour with everyone involved recovering from last week’s shocking Hassan murder.

President Taylor was preparing to abandon her peace treaty, as she was staunchly told by the Russian douchebag emissary that they would be withdrawing from the talks. Jack was all wounded and apologetic to Taylor, as he felt he’d let her down. (You think this was bad, Jack? You ain’t seen nothing yet.) And in a stunning twist, the ineffective and downright idiotic Brian Hastings (I mean, seriously, how did this guy get this job?) was removed from command over CTU, in light of all the failures.

But, wait! Things could be repaired! Taylor and the IRK Prime Minister were able to talk Dalia Hassan into assuming her freshly dead husband’s role. Chole was given provisional command at CTU (finally!). And Jack could finally go get it on with Renee, but, this being 24, it all fell to shit again.

The Russians still won’t talk, leaving Taylor no choice but to look to Charles Logan for help. (What is this leverage he has over the Russians? Doesn’t sound good.) Samir, barely clinging to life from Jack’s gunshots, is poisoned by a Russian goon posing as a paramedic, before Cole and Chloe can get any information from him. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the Ruskie recognized Renee from her undercover days and decides she and Jack need to be eliminated before she can link him to anything.

So, he follows the lovebirds back to Jack’s, watches them, you know, do it (ick), and pumps Renee full of lead. Jack tries to get her to the hospital in time, but to no avail; she’s a goner.

These last six hours should be exciting stuff. With Jack in revenge-mode and Logan muddling the peace talks with his wicked ways, 24 looks posed to go out with a bang.

Will Tom's death be in vain?

Another show looking ready for a dynamic conclusion, last night’s Damages. The penultimate episode was chock full of twists and turns; so much so, I can hardly think of a proper way to summarize them. So, I won’t.

But, by the end of the hour, we’d learned: Tom leaked his financial information to the judge, specifically to have him removed from the case, so he could publicly resign from the firm, so that he could earn the trust of Leonard Winstone once he’d successfully flipped him against the Tobin’s. Terry met with Patty, casually letting her know of Frobisher’s near-admission of guilt of murder, which led Patty and Ellen to Gates, who now plan to look into the cop Frobisher hired, who was killed, but was once partnered with Wes (Timothy Olyphant), which leads Ellen to call Wes (!), which leads to next week’s preview of the finale showing Wes visiting Ellen (!!). Ellen delivered Joe Tobin the evidence they’d found that Leonard wasn’t who he said he was, prompting Joe to go ballistic on Leonard, effectively turning Leonard against the Tobin’s, leading him right into Tom’s trap.

Phew.

I don’t know where this show is going. And it’s only got 90 more minutes to get there. But what a hell of a ride it’s been getting there. I only hope it’s not the last ride we’ve got with Hewes & Associates.

Where is the love?

After so much heady drama, I desperately needed to end my night with some laughs. Luckily, one of my favorite comedies, How I Met Your Mother, had returned from hiatus. Boy, do I love this little show. A sitcom that relies less on the snark and more on the heart and romance, HIMYM is always a winning half-hour when it’s focusing on the show’s core mythology, i.e. Ted’s pursuit of The Mother.

Maybe that’s why last night felt like such a letdown. One of those in-between episodes that steps away from the central storyline, probably to give the writers a chance to figure out where to go next, last night was kinda boring. The A-story centered on Marshall having been mugged, which led Lily to want to get a gun, which led Marshall to lie and say he was actually mugged by a monkey. Or was he? When Robin wanted to interview him on that bunk news program she anchors (the B-story being that she felt like she needed to find a good story to salvage her wasted career), Marshall balked, saying he’d made it all up because he didn’t want Lily to get a gun and didn’t want to lie about it on TV, but didn’t want Lily to know he’d actually been mugged because she was finally feeling safe and not as worried.

Things only got worse when Marshall showed up for the taping and learned that the monkey he’d (maybe) falsely accused would be sent to a wildlife sanctuary and separated from the love of his life. Marshall couldn’t stand for this, being the big, lumpy romantic he is, and just left, never telling anyone the truth (including us, the audience). It all led up to a fantastic sequence with the monkey getting loose in the studio, stealing a whackjob’s doll (don’t ask), and scaling Ted’s model of the Empire State Building. To complete the King Kong visual, the cameraman threw paper airplanes at it. Pretty inspired bit from a pretty lame set-up. I’m hoping next week gets back to the romance, which is really this show’s bread and butter.

What do you think? Did you see Renee’s murder coming? Are you as breathless watching Damages as I am? And was How I Met Your Mother kinda lame last night, or am I totally off-base? Sound off below!

Treme: A Gut Reaction

April 11, 2010

New Orleans was always a city I’d wanted to visit. Beyond the simple appeal of Mardi Gras, I’d always been fascinated with the vibrant culture associated with the gulf city. The food, the music, the history; it all seemed so spectacular and so wildly different from my Southern California suburban upbringing. But, then a few years ago, Hurricane Katrina hit and I selfishly lamented the fact that I’d never get to experience the city the way so many had before the levees broke.

But, tonight, watching Treme on HBO, I couldn’t help but think that maybe I want to see the city even more now. The show, created by David Simon (The Wire), is shot on location and takes place three months after the flooding. The city and the its inhabitants are beginning to rebuild and that indomitable New Orleans spirit is strong as it ever was. People are searching for family members, trying to salvage business’s and homes; and yet, a sense of celebration permeates throughout, as if the city is singing “We’re still here! It’s gonna take more than this!”

Which isn’t to say that the show diminishes the devastation. No, there is still a very palpable sense of loss and frustration, a layer that is hidden directly beneath the celebratory skin. But, these are a resilient people.

The show itself is terrific. While it would have been foolish to expect anything less, considering its pedigree, Treme does not disappoint. The writing is superb, incredibly naturalistic and authentic. With a subject matter that could have easily led to political showboating and righteous indignation, Simon and his team eschew this for a more pared down focus.

The cast is brilliant, with three TV favorites back on our screen. Khandi Alexander is poised to be a revelation, finally unshackled from the prison that was CSI: Miami; this is a woman who can act and deserves this sort of material. John Goodman, a personal favorite of mine long since the days of Roseanne, plays the only character who speaks on a political level, but he handles it with his typical humor, so as to make it palatable to even those who don’t agree with him (though, for the record, I echo all of his character’s sentiments). And, finally, Kim Dickens, late of Deadwood, is back in the HBO wheelhouse, where she firmly belongs.

A show about a culture and a community that can’t be stopped, with some really outstanding musical performances, Treme looks to be a true joy. I can’t wait to make my weekly visits to the neighborhood. How about you?

Alright, kids, here’s the rub (after I tell you the rub, please tell me what the hell “the rub” is supposed to mean): Over the past few weeks you’ve gotten used to seeing our feature Fresh Look Friday on…well…Friday. Billy and I mainly decided on this day because 1) we wanted to alternate feature days, and 2) alliteration is awesome. However, after having done it for a few weeks I’ve realized that because of my schedule, a Fresh Look every Friday doesn’t really work too well. You see my lovelies, I have class all day and evening on Thursdays, work all day and have night classes on Fridays, and then get to wake my lazy butt up for a Saturday morning class. Obviously this makes it a little difficult to watch and write about old stuff for Fresh Look, as well as go see new movies and get them reviewed in time. So What do you guys think? A Fresh Look Monday? New feature reviews on Sundays/Mondays? I know getting a movie review at the beginning of the week is kind of janky, but until the doom of school is finished next month, we might just have to make due. Let us know how you feel! We welcome all suggestions; unless of course they are stupid, in which case we will judge you behind your back.

About Last Night…

April 8, 2010

Last night, the TV gods offered up a vision of a show that I’m not so sure I want and brought me to the end of one I’m not sure I’m ready to let go of. Let’s talk, shall we?

Let's forget this even happened and just go get some dim sum.

On CBS, Criminal Minds presented us with the backdoor pilot for the proposed fall spin-off. For those unfamiliar with backdoor pilots, it’s a device producers use to present a spin-off show through an episode of the show it’s being spun from. Backdoor pilots have a varied track record. On the successful end of the spectrum, there was the introduction of Horatio Cane and his Miami wackiness in an episode of the flagship CSI and the trip Addison Montgomery took to visit L.A. in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. On the unsuccessful end, that episode of Gossip Girl last spring that attempted to peddle an 80’s-Los Angeles set story of Lily’s life, starring Brittany Snow. Don’t remember it? That’s because the CW nixed it after the episode aired.

Anyway, last night we were introduced to Sam Cooper, an FBI agent with ties to both Hotchner and Rossi. As the heavy-handed dialogue told us over and over again, Cooper doesn’t do bureaucracy, doesn’t follow the rules, and always follows his gut. He’s played by Forest Whitaker. I’m not sure if I would have ever liked the character, regardless of the actor playing him, but I really don’t buy Whitaker in his shoes. I don’t know, maybe it’s just my totally shallow inability to look at Whitaker for too long without being creeped out by his face. I know, it’s awful, but that lazy, droopy eye really freaks me out. I’m not sure I’m ready for him to headline a show.

So, CBS, take my advice: Your primetime landscape is already a bounty of riches. I understand the need to hedge costs and end some long-running programs in favor of cheaper, newer series. But, your network is already clogged with franchises. Between the three CSI’s and two NCIS’s, we do not need another franchise. Take a chance on some originality and let this pilot quietly go out the backdoor it came in from.

Best Moment: Blech. None.

Gayest show ever? You say that like it's a bad thing...

What a sweet little hour Ugly Betty was last night. In fact, this entire fourth season has been completely charming. After a bungled third season that saw a massive ratings decline, ABC effectively cut the show off at the knees by moving it from its cushy Thursdays-at-8 timeslot to the coffin known as Fridays-at-9. The show creatively rebounded, finding the heart and charm viewers remembered fondly from the first season, but ratings continued to landslide. A faint glimmer of hope was offered when the network moved the show to Wednesdays to close out it’s burgeoning comedy lineup, but the damage was already done; viewers just did not follow and ABC cut the episode order short and cancelled the show. One has to wonder if ABC isn’t kicking themselves as Betty’s replacement on Thursdays, the much-hyped FlashForward, has halted both creatively and ratings-wise.

But, back to last night, what an episode it was. We saw the return of Christopher Gorham’s adorable Henry Grubstick. We saw Hilda and Bobby finally marry. We saw Mr. Dunn come to New York to offer Betty her dream job, only in London. We saw Marc realize he actually can be a good person. We saw (I think) Daniel realize that (maybe) he’s in love (perhaps) with Betty. But, most importantly, we saw Justin finally come out.

I’m so glad we were given the opportunity to see this story line actualized before the series ended, and with such authenticity and grace. The scene between Betty and Justin at the wedding had me in tears and was, I think, some of young Mark Indelicato’s best work on the series. By the time he was offering Austin his hand to dance, I was sobbing. It was just fantastic. And how about Hilda and Ignacio’s hairbrained Surprise Coming Out Party?! Hysterical.

I expect more tears next week, as Betty finally decides to put herself first and takes up Mr. Dunn on her offer. I’ve enjoyed the walk down memory lane the show’s provided us with visits from Gio, Christina, and Henry. My only regret is that we weren’t granted one last visit from Rebecca Romijn’s Alexis, but there’s always the possibility of the next week’s finale, I suppose.

Best Moment: With more than a handful of heartfelt scenes last night, probably the lightest, most comedic moment came when Wilhelmina and Claire had a total Dynasty-Alexis-and-Krystle-in-the-pool rumble at the photo shoot. Hilarious.

Hey kids. Sorry there was no Viral Vision last night; Bill asked me to pick his up and I dropped the ball down at the bottom of a Manhattan. But today there are two! When the sun goes down tonight, you should look up at the sky and count your lucky stars.

Today’s videos come to you courtesy of booze and history, which are pretty much my two favorite things in the whole world. I tried to watch Funny or Die on HBO when it first premiered, but I’ve got no patience for that noise so I quit it after about 10 minutes. During that time though, they did a segment called Drunk History starring Will Ferrell as Abraham Lincoln and Don Cheadle as Crispus Attucks, and it was pretty much the most hilarious thing ever so I decided to see what other installments there have been. What I found were videos of Michael Cera as Alexander Hamilton, Danny McBride as George Washington, and my personal favorite, Jack Black as Ben Franklin. There are two installments of Ben Franklin’s story, the first one being his famous kite flying escapade, and the second documenting how much of a man-whore that dude was. Both are just ripe for the watchin, so get to it! (If you only have time to watch one of them, the second video is beyond hilarious)

About Last Night…

April 7, 2010

Last night’s TV was a night all about conclusions. Whether it was the true beginning of the end on Lost or an end that was meant to only be a middle on Southland. Uh, let me explain…

Yea, I'm gay, but I can mess you up.

The truncated second season of Southland ended last night on TNT. This handful of episodes that were aired were only the first six of an abbreviated 13-episode order from NBC, before NBC cancelled the show early last fall. This sixth episode was in no way meant to act as any sort of finale, season or otherwise, and it was evident. There was nothing spectacular about the episode; the two cases were rather rote and the attention paid to Sal and his insufferable daughter Kimmy (possibly the worst characters on this show) felt lame. We were provided with a little closure regarding Regina King’s Lydia and Tom Everett Scott’s Russell, luckily. It was rather unsatisfying on the whole, though.

I’m hoping TNT gives this little show another chance and orders at least six more episodes to really wrap things up. Too much of this season’s focus was placed on Shawn Hatosy and Kevin Alejandro’s characters, and the true heart of this show, the triumvirate of Michael Cudlitz, Ben McKenzie, and King, fell by the wayside. If the season had been longer, it probably wouldn’t have been as noticeable. But, as it stands, what we got felt rather stilted. On a happier note, though, how awesome is Michael Cudlitz’s Officer Cooper? Probably the best gay character on television, who’s just shown as a real guy and not a caricature. If this is the end of Southland (and I fear it is), he’ll be missed.

Did you miss me?

But, on to the the main event of Tuesday night, Lost. Wow, what an episode. With only six episodes left including the two-hour season finale, I feel like last night was the night that truly set everything into motion. For weeks now, we’ve been wondering how these Sideways stories came into play. Are they examples of what could have been? Is it an alternate universe? Is there some connection to the Island story? Hell, is there any connection to the Island story?

Well, as it seems from last night’s Desmond-centric hour, they are very connected. Without pretending I really understand (because I don’t), it appears that the two storylines are running parallel to each other, with the possibility of crossing back and forth. With Sideways Desmond now on a mission to find all the Sideways Castaways and help awaken them, as it were, it begs the question: Is the endgame of Lost going to be all about each character choosing which reality to live in, with Desmond as their shepherd? And, if so, how the hell do Jacob and Smokey figure into all that?

I get the feeling, though, that however Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse have chosen to end Lost, some people aren’t going to be happy. A lot of comments I’ve read out in the Interweb seem to indicate a demand for more answers. While that’s always been the case with Lost, I think loyal viewers will be doing themselves a great disservice if they cry foul over unanswered questions. For me, Lost has always just been about the ride. Speculating on what it all means is a blast, but if I don’t get answers to everything, I won’t let it color my unending love for this show. I trust the creators to steer us in the direction they see fit. So, my advice to fans: let go and enjoy. Accept the answers you’re given and cherish the opportunity to spend years re-watching DVDs, arguing with friend over answers to questions you didn’t receive.

Best Moment: Not really a moment, but just getting to spend some time with all of my favorite peripheral characters last night was such a treat: Charlie, Daniel Faraday, Eloise Hawking, and Penny. The love story between Desmond and Penny has always been a favorite of mine and the opportunity to see Faraday again literally made me squeal. I don’t think I’ve ever loved Jeremy Davies more than I have in this role. And any chance to see Eloise, with that glint in her eye that says she probably knows more about what’s going on than anyone else on Earth, is a real fun. The re-appearance of all these fan favorites is a real gift from the writers to the dedicated fans.

This is the exact reason why I hate YouTube, because you stumble upon creepy shit like this when all you want to do is watch old commercials for Vlassic pickles because the bespectacled stork reminds you of your grandpa. I got pickle surprised alright.

About Last Night…

April 6, 2010

Welcome to 3FING3RS newest TV feature: a daily look back at the previous night’s offerings, or proof that one TV addict really needs to get a life.

Boy, was this week’s Damages a doozy. I must say, I always feel that this show is at

Do you really want to try and fuck with me?

its best when it’s making me totally uncomfortable; and last night was a shining example. With Tessa Marquette’s detention by Ellen’s D.A. boss, everyone was scrambling; like paranoid bees after the nest’s been knocked over. Patty, feeling powerless with the idea that she’s lost her only opportunity to put weight on the Tobin’s, turned first on Ellen and then on Tom, after he confessed that Ellen had covered for him with Patty and it was he who had recklessly approached Tessa in the first place. Meanwhile, the Tobin’s were panicking that Tessa would spill what she knew and Joe was determined to prevent it, at all costs. A shocking reveal came via Leonard this evening. [SPOILER ALERT] As he was pleading with Marilyn to appeal to Joe and ask him to leave Tessa alone, we learned that Tessa was in fact Joe’s daughter, and not his father’s. (I’ve gotta gloat here: I totally called this the minute we learned that Danielle and Joe had a history.) Marilyn later informed Leonard that she’d spoken to Joe and convinced him to call off the goons, but as that final, jarring scene in Antigua proved, she did no such thing. These Tobin’s really are wretched people. I can’t wait for Joe to learn the truth, though.

Still confused on how these two subplots are going to play into the grand scheme of things, but enjoying them, nonetheless: The Frobisher story and Ellen’s botched adoption. It’s always lovely to see Ted Danson anywhere on television, as he’s really enjoying quite a well-deserved career renaissance. And this week, we learned that the dark underbelly of Arthur Frobisher hasn’t gone away. His shadowy almost-confession of murder in the car with Craig Bierko’s Terry was unsettling, to say the least. Like I said, not sure where this is leading or how it pieces in, but I like it.

Now, about the Ellen subplot. We got a little clarification this week, as we learned that Ellen wasn’t adopted by her parents, but almost given away by them, instead. Turns out her mother couldn’t handle kids and an asshole husband and almost gave Ellen away to someone who actually wanted to care for her, but changed her mind at the last second. I don’t even know how to speculate what this means to the season as a whole, but I loved that it provided us with that really nice scene with Rose Byrne and Noah Bean in the snow. Too bad the Damages writers weren’t involved with Grey’s Anatomy when Izzie was dealing with Ghost Denny because this scene with Ellen and Ghost/Memory David is how to do it right.

Only two episodes left (maybe ever!) and there is so much left to learn. Not sure if you’re apprised of the goings-on at FX, but there is talk that a fourth season won’t happen if they have to foot the bill alone. There are reports that the network has reached out to DirecTV to propose something similar to their arrangement with NBC for Friday Night Lights. Here’s hoping something can be worked out, as this show is one of the richest, most engrossing adult dramas in the television landscape currently. It would be a shame to lose it.

Best Moment:  “I see you. You’re a climber, a parasite, and you’re ruthless. I want you out of my apartment. I want you out of my life.” – Patty, to a visibly stunned Ellen.

That boozy confrontation between Ellen and a noticeably drunk Patty, with the latter’s paranoia on full display; wow. This is what viewer’s of this show have come to love: the small, but meaty scenes between Glenn Close and Byrne. Their bizarre relationship (mentor/student/mother/daughter/sister/friend??) is tempestuous and rife with tension and has always kept us clamoring for more.

I'm Jack Bauer, motherfucker!

Meanwhile, a show that we’ve just learned is, for sure, leaving us this season finally stepped up its game tonight. I must admit that I’ve never watched much of 24 before this year, save for a handful of episodes of season two that Jordin made me watch, like, five years ago. So, with that, I feel unqualified to comment on the show’s quality level when compared to prior seasons. The Internet is rife with commentary that the show has been particularly snoozy and/or ridiculous this year, but, I’ve gotta say, as a newbie, I’m loving the ride. Sure, the early scenes dealing with the Dana Walsh subplot were terrible, but I feel like turning her into the mole really turned it around. I know that this is, like, CTU’s eightieth mole, but it was still fun. And it’s continuing to be enjoyable, as I feel like Katee Sackhoff is finally being given some material and direction to work with.

Tonight’s two hours sped along, mostly focusing on President Hassan turning himself over to the terrorists and Jack and all of CTU attempting to rescue him. The stuff with President Taylor learing that General Brucker and Rob Weiss had betrayed her was fascinating. (Fun Fact: I once met Chris Diamantopoulus, who plays Weiss, when I was working front desk at the Sheraton Universal. He was really gracious when I complimented him on an episode of Nip/Tuck he’d appeared in. Plus, he’s a total babe.)

[SPOILER ALERT] The climax of the second hour was particularly heartbreaking. To find Hassan dead, and for the satellite feed to have been a recording, was intense and a twist I didn’t really expect. I’m not really sure where we go from here, though I guess the rest of the season will be dedicated to President Taylor grasping to maintain her peace treaty, as we’ve already learned that the Russians won’t play ball now that Hassan is gone. It should be fun to see Gregory Itzin’s Charles Logan, though I can’t imagine that anything would be bad enough for President Taylor to actually turn to him for help.

Best Moment: The final words between President Taylor and Ray Weiss. Just an awesome moment that finally let Cherry Jones bring a little bad-ass to her mostly subdued role. The slap across Weiss’ face led to a cheer in many homes tonight, no doubt; or, at least it did on my couch.

You know, I didn't believe it before, but now that we have video evidence, I can't deny it. Everyone is right, we are totally awful.

This week’s Gossip Girl played out like some game of The Good, The Bad, and The Boring. Let’s tackle The Good, first. The Chuck/Blair storyline was pure vintage G.G., if Indecent Proposal-lite. Jack approached Chuck and told him that he would give him his hotel back, if he allowed him one night with Blair. It seemed like Chuck rebuked the offer, so Jack tried another avenue, appealing to Blair herself. Blair dismissed the truly disgusting proposal at first, but as she continued to see how distraught Chuck was over the loss of his empire, err, The Empire (subtle, Schwartz), she relented. So, she went to Jack, having drafted a contract (!) that stipulated that he could never tell Chuck. After signing and only kissing Blair, Jack announced that he got what he wanted and it wouldn’t go any further. Blair was understandably baffled, so Jack further explained: Chuck knew about it all, and had actually agreed to “hand” Blair over. Blair was repulsed and hearbroken. That final scene between Chuck and Blair was devastating, though, I’ve gotta admit, I’m a little excited to see them apart. I’ve got a feeling Chuck is going to realize he made the colossally wrong choice and try to win Blair back. If so, that cat and mouse game should be a delight.

As for the bad, this whole Serena-Nate-Jenny thing is almost as ridiculous as that “game” they played at Nate’s party. (Seriously, did you believe for a second that any of these UES-ers would willingly participate, sober?) I don’t believe for a second that anyone in their right mind would even consider heinous J over Serena. This story seems like a fast train to nowhere and I want off.

And, the boring. Danessa. Vaniel. Whatever. This is the worst coupling in the history of the universe. And now we get to watch these two pretentious blowhards compete for the same spot at Tisch? Joy. Honestly, if Dan Humphrey were real, I would punch him in the face. Hate.

Best Moment: Eric is back! Though in desperate need of a haircut, our favorite little G.G.G. (that’s Gossip Girl Gay, duh) returned from his heretofore unmentioned trip to Japan (seriously, does anyone else remember ever hearing about this?) and it looks like he’s gonna get a new BF! Bonus points for the new boy being 150% cuter than that mess that was Jonathan. Excited for this. Also, what the hell was Eric up to in Japan? That first scene where he was talking about his Japanese rebound being into group sex and pictures! I want to hear more about this, and fast.

I will make you dance, so don't fight it.

Welcome to a new week here at 3FING3RS, lovers. You know what Monday means. It’s time for me to rant about some musician you’ve probably already heard of, but let’s agree to entertain my silly delusion that I listen to music that no one else does and therefore must share it with everyone. Just give me one more week and, next week, I promise I’ll present you someone relatively brand-new.

Now that that’s out of the way, on to today’s fun…

My choice for this week’s music must is a Brit import. A little tidbit about my music preferences: I have a bit of an obsession with music from over the pond. I’m constantly scouring the UK iTunes Store, cursing my computer that it won’t let me purchase music from it. (Seriously, what’s up with that, anyway? I thought it was the World Wide Web!)

Anyway, this bloke, Jack Penate (whose last name actually has a tilde over the “n,” something I’m unable to figure out how to do here on WordPress) is another find from the UK iTunes. I felt so lucky, though, when I found that his album had been released here in the States, too. Granted, it was released last June, but sometimes albums from over there never see the light of day over here (I’m referring to you, Just Jack, and your elusive second album!).

A little bit of background on Mr. Penate. He released his first album, Matinee, in October of 2007. It wasn’t very good and wasn’t received very well, critically. Commercially, however, it was eaten up. And thank the Brits for it, otherwise, we probably wouldn’t have ever heard his follow-up album, which was radically different and much better.

Everything Is New was released in June of 2009 and is amazing. It’s the kind of album that I imagine putting on at a summer party. It’s sunset, everyone is gathered around the pool, there is Sangria everywhere. And suddenly, this music plays. It’s a rousing concoction of soul, funk, African tribal, and dance music. Everyone is on their feet. No one can resist moving to this sound. The party’s a big success and it’s all because of Jack Penate (and probably the Sangria, too). It’s like the party of my dreams.

Anyway, while I entertain more ridiculous fantasies, take a listen and tell me what you think. I’ve attached the videos for “Be The One” and “Tonight’s Today”. Gosh, he’s pretty dreamy, too, right? (I defy anyone to not want to move to this music!)

Enjoy, nerds.