About Last Night…

April 6, 2010

Welcome to 3FING3RS newest TV feature: a daily look back at the previous night’s offerings, or proof that one TV addict really needs to get a life.

Boy, was this week’s Damages a doozy. I must say, I always feel that this show is at

Do you really want to try and fuck with me?

its best when it’s making me totally uncomfortable; and last night was a shining example. With Tessa Marquette’s detention by Ellen’s D.A. boss, everyone was scrambling; like paranoid bees after the nest’s been knocked over. Patty, feeling powerless with the idea that she’s lost her only opportunity to put weight on the Tobin’s, turned first on Ellen and then on Tom, after he confessed that Ellen had covered for him with Patty and it was he who had recklessly approached Tessa in the first place. Meanwhile, the Tobin’s were panicking that Tessa would spill what she knew and Joe was determined to prevent it, at all costs. A shocking reveal came via Leonard this evening. [SPOILER ALERT] As he was pleading with Marilyn to appeal to Joe and ask him to leave Tessa alone, we learned that Tessa was in fact Joe’s daughter, and not his father’s. (I’ve gotta gloat here: I totally called this the minute we learned that Danielle and Joe had a history.) Marilyn later informed Leonard that she’d spoken to Joe and convinced him to call off the goons, but as that final, jarring scene in Antigua proved, she did no such thing. These Tobin’s really are wretched people. I can’t wait for Joe to learn the truth, though.

Still confused on how these two subplots are going to play into the grand scheme of things, but enjoying them, nonetheless: The Frobisher story and Ellen’s botched adoption. It’s always lovely to see Ted Danson anywhere on television, as he’s really enjoying quite a well-deserved career renaissance. And this week, we learned that the dark underbelly of Arthur Frobisher hasn’t gone away. His shadowy almost-confession of murder in the car with Craig Bierko’s Terry was unsettling, to say the least. Like I said, not sure where this is leading or how it pieces in, but I like it.

Now, about the Ellen subplot. We got a little clarification this week, as we learned that Ellen wasn’t adopted by her parents, but almost given away by them, instead. Turns out her mother couldn’t handle kids and an asshole husband and almost gave Ellen away to someone who actually wanted to care for her, but changed her mind at the last second. I don’t even know how to speculate what this means to the season as a whole, but I loved that it provided us with that really nice scene with Rose Byrne and Noah Bean in the snow. Too bad the Damages writers weren’t involved with Grey’s Anatomy when Izzie was dealing with Ghost Denny because this scene with Ellen and Ghost/Memory David is how to do it right.

Only two episodes left (maybe ever!) and there is so much left to learn. Not sure if you’re apprised of the goings-on at FX, but there is talk that a fourth season won’t happen if they have to foot the bill alone. There are reports that the network has reached out to DirecTV to propose something similar to their arrangement with NBC for Friday Night Lights. Here’s hoping something can be worked out, as this show is one of the richest, most engrossing adult dramas in the television landscape currently. It would be a shame to lose it.

Best Moment:  “I see you. You’re a climber, a parasite, and you’re ruthless. I want you out of my apartment. I want you out of my life.” – Patty, to a visibly stunned Ellen.

That boozy confrontation between Ellen and a noticeably drunk Patty, with the latter’s paranoia on full display; wow. This is what viewer’s of this show have come to love: the small, but meaty scenes between Glenn Close and Byrne. Their bizarre relationship (mentor/student/mother/daughter/sister/friend??) is tempestuous and rife with tension and has always kept us clamoring for more.

I'm Jack Bauer, motherfucker!

Meanwhile, a show that we’ve just learned is, for sure, leaving us this season finally stepped up its game tonight. I must admit that I’ve never watched much of 24 before this year, save for a handful of episodes of season two that Jordin made me watch, like, five years ago. So, with that, I feel unqualified to comment on the show’s quality level when compared to prior seasons. The Internet is rife with commentary that the show has been particularly snoozy and/or ridiculous this year, but, I’ve gotta say, as a newbie, I’m loving the ride. Sure, the early scenes dealing with the Dana Walsh subplot were terrible, but I feel like turning her into the mole really turned it around. I know that this is, like, CTU’s eightieth mole, but it was still fun. And it’s continuing to be enjoyable, as I feel like Katee Sackhoff is finally being given some material and direction to work with.

Tonight’s two hours sped along, mostly focusing on President Hassan turning himself over to the terrorists and Jack and all of CTU attempting to rescue him. The stuff with President Taylor learing that General Brucker and Rob Weiss had betrayed her was fascinating. (Fun Fact: I once met Chris Diamantopoulus, who plays Weiss, when I was working front desk at the Sheraton Universal. He was really gracious when I complimented him on an episode of Nip/Tuck he’d appeared in. Plus, he’s a total babe.)

[SPOILER ALERT] The climax of the second hour was particularly heartbreaking. To find Hassan dead, and for the satellite feed to have been a recording, was intense and a twist I didn’t really expect. I’m not really sure where we go from here, though I guess the rest of the season will be dedicated to President Taylor grasping to maintain her peace treaty, as we’ve already learned that the Russians won’t play ball now that Hassan is gone. It should be fun to see Gregory Itzin’s Charles Logan, though I can’t imagine that anything would be bad enough for President Taylor to actually turn to him for help.

Best Moment: The final words between President Taylor and Ray Weiss. Just an awesome moment that finally let Cherry Jones bring a little bad-ass to her mostly subdued role. The slap across Weiss’ face led to a cheer in many homes tonight, no doubt; or, at least it did on my couch.

You know, I didn't believe it before, but now that we have video evidence, I can't deny it. Everyone is right, we are totally awful.

This week’s Gossip Girl played out like some game of The Good, The Bad, and The Boring. Let’s tackle The Good, first. The Chuck/Blair storyline was pure vintage G.G., if Indecent Proposal-lite. Jack approached Chuck and told him that he would give him his hotel back, if he allowed him one night with Blair. It seemed like Chuck rebuked the offer, so Jack tried another avenue, appealing to Blair herself. Blair dismissed the truly disgusting proposal at first, but as she continued to see how distraught Chuck was over the loss of his empire, err, The Empire (subtle, Schwartz), she relented. So, she went to Jack, having drafted a contract (!) that stipulated that he could never tell Chuck. After signing and only kissing Blair, Jack announced that he got what he wanted and it wouldn’t go any further. Blair was understandably baffled, so Jack further explained: Chuck knew about it all, and had actually agreed to “hand” Blair over. Blair was repulsed and hearbroken. That final scene between Chuck and Blair was devastating, though, I’ve gotta admit, I’m a little excited to see them apart. I’ve got a feeling Chuck is going to realize he made the colossally wrong choice and try to win Blair back. If so, that cat and mouse game should be a delight.

As for the bad, this whole Serena-Nate-Jenny thing is almost as ridiculous as that “game” they played at Nate’s party. (Seriously, did you believe for a second that any of these UES-ers would willingly participate, sober?) I don’t believe for a second that anyone in their right mind would even consider heinous J over Serena. This story seems like a fast train to nowhere and I want off.

And, the boring. Danessa. Vaniel. Whatever. This is the worst coupling in the history of the universe. And now we get to watch these two pretentious blowhards compete for the same spot at Tisch? Joy. Honestly, if Dan Humphrey were real, I would punch him in the face. Hate.

Best Moment: Eric is back! Though in desperate need of a haircut, our favorite little G.G.G. (that’s Gossip Girl Gay, duh) returned from his heretofore unmentioned trip to Japan (seriously, does anyone else remember ever hearing about this?) and it looks like he’s gonna get a new BF! Bonus points for the new boy being 150% cuter than that mess that was Jonathan. Excited for this. Also, what the hell was Eric up to in Japan? That first scene where he was talking about his Japanese rebound being into group sex and pictures! I want to hear more about this, and fast.