Twig And Plums: A 30 Rock Recap

Alright puppies, it’s late, I’m sleepy, and I’ve got an early meeting in the morning. So, like Liz Lemon bellows in Pete’s Ken-mare: Let’s do this.

The Top Lines:

– I met him on KDate, the personals section of the Kraft Foods website. – Liz, describing her date to Jenna

– It’s just an honor to be nominated in the same category as Sir Dave Coulier. – Danny, on his Juno nomination

– No, no goatee, just chola eyebrows. – Floyd, who hasn’t changed much

– I get all my news from Dick Cheney’s website, DickViews.com. – Jack

– I never said that Liz banged her way to the middle… – Danny, reacting to the story Frank, Lutz, and Twofer planted in the NYT

– He didn’t speak a word of English, like all Dartmouth men. – Jack, about the real-life Indian mascot he sent to Mexico City

– If my grandpa hadn’t gotten on that train that day, he never would have met his wife…’s murderer. – Kenneth

– They’re Boston Irish Catholic, they mate for life, like swans. Like drunk, angry swans. – Jack

– So much of my life I’ve wasted putting things on hats! – Frank, during Jack and Danny’s prank

– I was in a re-enactment on America’s Most Wanted once, playing a lady strangled on the toilet. – Liz, attempting to compete with Floyd’s fiancee

– Wait a minute! All my teeth are loose, so we’re good, it’s real. – Tracy’s litmus test for reality versus dreamscape

– You want to squeeze in one last ride at Six Floyd’s Amusement Park? – Floyd, drunk off salmon

– How are you still single Liz? There’s so many guys out there that want to be poisoned and yelled at. – Floyd, who got sober for a reason

– Unbelievable. It’s way too early for this, guys. I haven’t even had my first cup of wine today. – Pete, always tasked with babysitting Tracy and Jenna

– So go, get married, love each other, and if you go on a cruise for your honeymoon, may it be free of pirates. Outie5000. – Liz, with what is,perhaps, the best line to give away your true love, ever

Anything else you LOL’d at that I neglected to print? Sound off, below!